The Diddle Factor

When Andy and I were working full time and the sprawling house was full of children, friends and dogs and schedules and things to
be done I fantasized about having a place to live that was pure white, no kids, no dog hair, no maintenance issues, I could be an orphan stripped of family. I would eat only exquisite pale green vegetables, ordered in when I wanted. There would be nothing needing attention and I could read, lying supine on the white sofa as long as I wanted. When I wanted to leave I could just go out and lock the door behind me. Pure fantasy.

Actually, we do now own a townhouse in the city, and it is almost white. It requires very little energy, maybe a half hour a month to vacuum and clean the bathrooms. It is stylish and well-equipped. We can close the front door and be gone for weeks at a time knowing it will be exactly the same when we return. The automatic watering system comes on a couple of times a week to irrigate the tiny garden. The air conditioning system keeps the whole place at 82 degrees when no one is at home. Since it is totally hermetically sealed, very little dust accumulates. This place is not home, and, for me, just a place to be occasionally, and a little bit better than a hotel. But we can't give it up!

The diddle factor is something one might not think about when you are so exhausted by the details of life. But you retire from your daily work. What do you do now everyday? You are not required to drive kids to soccer or to the orthodondist. You don't have to get up before the first light to get in your run or swim before work. You don't have to slump over your computer late into every night preparing lesson plans or responding to e-mails from clients. FREEDOM!

There you could be in your stylish condo with very little to do. You can water the plants. You could go out to lunch every day with friends. You could attend concerts and plays in the evenings.. You could volunteer as a symphony greeter. You could shop, though not many of us who are retired and prosperous have any need for things. We've got everything we need. You could travel constantly as many retirees do. I think that this is just postponing the hard work of figuring out what we want our last best years to hold for us.

We have been flopping around being retirees for this last year. It isn't pretty. We are addressing a deficit of creative energy. Andy has made many exquisite pieces of furniture in his shop. In the last year he has made chests of drawers, tables, benches, stools, toys and shelves. I have made quilts, clothes for my granddaughter, paintings, rugs and pottery. Our creations are not yet professional quality. We are learning.

We are enjoying our grandchildren, though toddlers are incredible time consumers!

And we have the needs of our various volunteer activities seeping into our lives, sometimes for many hours a week. These activities are the most meaningful to us. We can use our honed expertise to advance the causes we believe in.

In our real home at the ranch, not at the pristine white place in town, there is always something to be done. The pastures need to be mowed, the fences mended, the fruit trees pruned, the vegetable and flower beds weeded and watered, the cattle culled. There is so much pure space to be explored! Our work clothes have to be laundered and meals must be prepared for us and the many guests we have.

This is the diddle factor. We need to have things to do that are hard and take time, creativity and concentration. There was this huge thing before we retired that was paid work for hours and hours every week. We squeezed in the extra stuff: maintaining our houses, cooking meals, scheduling family and friends and community. When we retire we have to address the deficit of all the rest of stuff we wanted to do but never had the time for.

Living in the pristine white house that needs nothing is a bad choice for retirees. There is no diddle factor.