Jay

Thanksgiving, 2008. Here is Jay, my brother-in-law, preparing the turnips for the feast. This is a scene played out all across America on Thanksgiving with everyone in the family and all the friends contributing to a ritual so familiar to everyone. On no holiday is the choice of food so consistent and predictable.
Jay may be doing the predictable with those turnips that were just that day plucked from local Florida soil, but his amazing appearance in our life was anything but. What a lovely and profoundly decent man!
It was a second marriage for both my sister and Jay and in many ways they had been bruised. As we came to know Jay we began to think of him as a true pearl embedded in the layers of our life. We saw what a wonderful match he and my sister have come to be. He soon became the beloved grandpa to Maria's four grandchildren and the beloved Uncle Jay to our youngest grandchild, Quincy. No one can have too many uncles.
Jay, a professor of anthropology, really connects with kids of all ages, as they say at the circus. He can talk like a duck, he's funny, and he really pays attention to kids, something very few adults do. While the meal was being prepared, Jay and Quincy, who's four, sat at the big table and really talked. Kids don't know very many adults who truly want to hear what they have to say. Quincy is on a "penguin unit" these days, and Jay was really interested.
Jay is a little bit odd; he knows that every person he meets has a good story and he's not reticent about ferreting it out. Sometimes he's a little bit oblivious, a trait I can relate to, and then he'll appear on the spot, a gallant knight who knows exactly what's on your mind. He listens so intently and with such empathy your defenses melt and you find yourself feeling a lot lighter somehow.
Jay is just one of those serendipitous happenings in my life. I am so fortunate to know him and I truly believe he and Maria are perfect for each other. You don't pick your in-laws and mostly you make peace with them and put up with their foibles. Once in a blue moon you get a pearl. Jay's one of them.