The Girl Posse

Every summer for many years now, these girls have come to visit me at my ranch. I think of them as "the posse" though the four of them are quite distinct. When they were twelve years old or so they wanted to revisit the ranch where they had had such a wonderful time on the annual school field trip their class made to the ranch each year. As they dispersed from elementary school to various middle schools and high schools they maintained their strong loyalty to each other- and to me!

The summer visit became a tradition. They slept upstairs with each other like litter mates, spewing their belongings all over the house, getting to know where everything was. They ate everything in sight, learned to cook with my husband, swam in the pool, and each night we played cards or scrabble games. We read and discussed books and made art and crafts and roamed the property by day and night.

Now they have just finished their first year of college. I see these beautiful young women who have emerged from being spotty and lumpy and unsure of themselves. They are fledgelings, young adults now, all glowing with that exquisite newness. This was the first year that I gave them the choice of staying in the guest house. Of course, they took it. I did not tell them how to manage that.

We had to do the traditional things. They ran around the property in the golf cart, they played cards with us, and they worked in my studio. We talked books and when several of our neighbors came for dinner one night they participated in our political talk and helped in the preparation of a dinner for ten. Over the three days they were here I felt comfortable letting them figure out what to do most of the time. They knew they could find me during work hours in my studio.

Teenagers have such a different time schedule! We've been up for three hours before an yone appears. It lets us have time to read the papers. And they have no interest in current events it seems. No one will rumple up the New York Times or scuffle through the Wall Street Journal.

Most of all, I listen to them. I observe them. These are children of the last generation before 9/11. They grew up being unafraid. They know this. I see these four beautiful and brilliant girls as beginning to be competent. They already know that they can be good students and they are open to figuring out what they can do, what they really want to do.

I wanted to ask them so many things! But I hold back. They'll tell me in good time. For now, I just think that it is enough that they want to come each year to reaffirm our friendship.

I am almost old enough to be the grandmother to these kids. I hope to see them with their own children ( if they want them) and with clear paths to an interesting and fulfilling life.

What I did not have the opening to tell them was that they should pay attention to their own parents, ask them what's on their minds, how they are. It's never too early to regard one's parents as people who have their good and bad issues. So often it takes such a long time for kids to be able to regard their parents as real people, not just people who are reliably there for them.

I am honored that the 'Posse' comes here. I love those girls!