All day it has been overcast and spitting tiny raindrops that curl my hair into frizzy ringlets. This largesse also plumps up the resurrection ferns on the oak trees and paints the forest floor mosses in intense green. The pastures are greening up and new calves are on the scene. The pear tree is in full bloom with big thick white blossoms. Spring! Salad every night from the garden, and promises of more.
These days of thin sun are depressing. We need the full sunshine to feel alive.
At these times we revisit our thoughts about being here on the edge of the Green Swamp. How could we make a life being more often in our new carriage house in the city behind our daughter's house?
For twenty years or more, this has been a topic. I fell crazily in love with this place so long ago.. The ranch, 300 acres, the privacy, the visual plenitude, so many plants and creatures to know. And having my very own space, this studio.. just heaven.
Here, I can grow my vegetables and flowers, spend hours walking around in the woods and checking everything out. I can spend hours making quilts, painting, writing, and working on ceramics, and blasting out songs from my ipod, whatever I want. In my studio I connect to the outside world via computer and phone. My forays out are to connect with the local community where I volunteer and to see new friends. Feels like I have a purpose.
Since we left our work in the city, it's more difficult to think about what we could possibly do there. I always want to see my grandson and daughter, but they have busy lives. (Our grandson spends many weekends here.)
There is always volunteer work to be done there, but it seems right now to be so much less compelling than the work I do here. (I am not wanting to do more on boards of worthwhile non-profits.)
Lately, I have been trying to be present and affirming for my spouse who has health issues. I fall short, of course. We are wending our way. No sun, and retirement isn't easy.
Maybe tomorrow the day will dawn bright and clear. (Sally Sunshine speaking!)
With apologies to the Gershwins, it isn't summertime and the living isn't so easy. There are literally brighter days ahead. I keep reminding myself of that fact up here in South Dakota where I live now, and where the snow and wind will be brutal before warm weather sets in. I do miss Florida sometimes, or at least the Florida that once was, but now and then I get a nice reminder that the north does have a beauty all its own. Everywhere you may live has something unique and wonderful to offer, and everywhere you live there are drawbacks and features that are lacking. I'm confident that you will find your sunshine again soon.
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