Friday, December 30, 2011

Thinking about the New Year

A few years ago at New Year's Eve we had several teenagers around our dinner table and we asked them what they saw in their five year future. Their answers were very interesting and thoughtful and we spent the rest of the evening discussing them.

Five years is such a long and short time these days. Tomorrow evening we'll have ten adults around our table. We are old friends (and we are old!). What I want to ask them to say is 'what was the best celebration of your life that encapsulated moment in time you'll always remember?'

I have many such moments and I will pick one to begin.

Maybe in the future I will say that this holiday week was one. My daughter and her seven year old son, my son and his three boys, and his wife, pregnant with twins, a nephew, my daughter's partner, many friends - all were there to celebrate. I had a certain amount of trepedation about this week, but as it played out, it was incredibly great. We did everything traditional that all the kids remember about our expansive life on the ranch. Great food cooked by the whole tribe, truck rides to pick oranges to feed the cows, card games, art, lots of legos, night hikes with flashlights to see alligator eyes and spider eyes, noses in books, outdoor play, picking pea pods off the vine in the garden, hikes, the puzzle, many connections to technology, pets, bonfire, getting golf cart and truck stuck in a pond and having to be pulled out by the tractor.

They all left this morning so we spent some hours restoring our house and the guest house to normalcy. They are all good- no major mess to clean up, but there were nine loads of laundry which takes time. And then new guests arrive! But these ones are our most low maintenance ones.

I feel so blessed to have this amazing family! "Grandma Molly!" I hear them calling me and I respond. We love each other so much. "Grandma Molly, I have a question," Quincy asks. "Why are coal plants bad?" This seven year old and I am walking theough the woods with his grandpa and uncle and we are a few steps behind the men. I try to answer as best I can. (How does this kid even know about coal to generate electricity?) This little guy is full of questions. We talk companionably during the five mile walk (he never whines or complains, just is interested in everything)

And hours later I speak with his older cousins as they are making a movie. So much interesting and creative stuff going on here. Surely this will be a visit to remember.

The last night G'ma Molly found in her magic drawer some boxes of sparklers and so the two smallest cousins lighted them and zoomed around the yard feeling powerfully full of lights.

I love this diverse life of thick family and then just the two of us who talk our headfs off with each other.

Who knows what the future will bring?  We just have to address this bird by bird.

Happy New Year!


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

All Happy Families are..

The Holidays! So here it is, the grandfather and grandson preparing a wonderful dinner for ten. They made stuffed pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, carrots from the garden, bread made by a son, asparagus and lettuce salad fresh picked a few minutes ago. The smallest boys set the table and lighted the candles.

It has been a wonderful day in the glorious crisp weather with everyone being outside. The two youngest grandsons made an obstacle course we all had to run through. Then, more guests arrived and the three small boys were allowed to set off in the golf cart. Eleven, eight and seven (I had my reservations about this!) Half an hour later three small boys came running back to announce that the golf cart was stuck! So older brothers went out in the truck to investigate. The golf cart had been driven into a pond and was mired in the mud. And then the truck was stuck. So the tractor was needed to pull everyone out. No damage to humans or machines, a great adventure. Meanwhile there was a bonfire going to burn a pile of wood scraps and the flames were pretty high.

We contained the bonfire and the vehicles were all back and cleaned from the mud so everyone jumped into the truck and we went out to see Quincy's Museum on the far edge of the property. Since yesterday there were a few new additions to the museum - a new cow skull and an extremely dead armadillo, complete except for the buzzards. The boys were so delighted with all the dead stuff and bones in the museum. The adults in the party had one sniff of it and were out of there. This museum is a very ancient small cabin that was once occupied by a dentist at the turn of the last century. In its new iteration as a museum of bones and fossils this cabin takes on a new life.

Then we all picked oranges from the sour orange trees, cut them in half and drove in search of the cows who love oranges. The kids love throwing fruit to the cows who drool extravagantly as they eat. Such a satisfactory afternoon all told.

I love this wild family of mine. I love seeing the little boys hunkered down over their new Christmas books and Legos. I love coming upon the older ones late at night intent on making an art film that involves many items laid out upon the hearth. I love seeing my radiantly pregnant with twins daughter-in-law who amazes me with her beauty and competence. I love my son and daughter who are the parents of such great kids. I love being connected to a large family and many friends.

For now, we hang on to being the parents/grandparents who always have been there. So far we have energy and health, but I know that this time of life is fragile and I celebrate every moment. 

Friday, December 16, 2011

Holiday Guilt

It's that time of the year. Knee jerk reaction to the holiday season. And am I ever into it! I have collected the last batteries for that toy that doesn't have batteries included. I have wrapped almost everything. My local family will have many stocking gifts, and a few interesting books and things. For those few family members who are opaque to me and far away giftwise, I am giving Heifer swarms of bees. I have sent off citrus gifts to people in cold climates, and I have sent off bales of stuff from llbean- the ubiquitous shirts and robes.

Today I went to Walmart to buy small things. Suddenly, I found myself stunned to immobility in the middle of an aisle of queen sized underpants. Have I arrived somehow on an alien planet? How can this be happening? I am looking for gift cards for Starbucks! Extremely large people in scooters are nipping at my ankles so I quickly dodge left and right and move on to the gift wrap department that is featuring Xtreme heroes on gift boxes. I think about those tatoos, also featured, and decide against it.

I have done The Holidays for so many eons, and now it's uphill work all the way. We do not have a Christmas tree this year, just a wreath. But I always have that mental list of what is expected!

We give holiday bonuses to the pool guy, the house cleaner, the newspaper deliverer - and then, who else?? Are we missing anyone?? What about the person who cuts our hair? The dog's toenails? The mailperson?

We have spent one wonderful and arduous day making several kinds of rich cookies and jams to give away. And, guilt, we didn't make enough! Not enough cookies and jam for every neighbor and everyone where we volunteer!

And, also, I must confess I never send out Christmas cards!
But! I have lists! Christmas is still a few days away and I will call or email those folks who are on my mind and tell them that I am thinking of them, happy holidays, and yes, the coyotes are howling out there every night.

I love the holidays, make no mistake. I am so looking forward to seeing my three grandsons from up north. And I am so looking forward to seeing my middle son and his wife that I love who is pregnant with twins. I am excited to be in the midst of a family holiday with two of my children and their kids.

The expectations are not high in the way of material things. We'll rejoice in the coming together of our family.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Hunter Shot in the Leg by Dog

NOT! (Maybe not exactly..) This wasn't a funny story about a hunting dog removing the gun safety and then pressing the trigger, whatever bloggers and such may say. It was a tragic hunting accident. A lively dog was shunting back and forth between the front and back seats. It was eager for this early morning hunt. There was a gun there and the safety may or may not have been on. Somehow in the activity a shot was fired in the cab, shooting Mr. Brown in the thigh.
 My friends and neighbors who were there were devastated. But they also had the presence of mind to quickly call 911, staunch the blood as best they could, get the victim to the gate where the ambulance awaited.
My neighbor told me it was like a war incident. So much blood and meat and so much to be done in split seconds.
Mr. Brown is a community icon, beloved by all. As the head of our local power coop, he has done so much philanthropically for the poorest among us. And yet, he's a regular East Pasco guy who goes hunting on an early weekend morning with good friends he treasures.
We all are beaming good wishes for Billy Brown's recovery. "He's a tough old bird", one of his employees said.
His hunting companions will be forever changed by this. They took Mr. Brown's pickup and cleaned it carefully and thoroughly. Love, really.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

My Florida Home

This is a painting I have been working on lately. I am not a painter; mostly I work in fabrics as an idiosyncratic quilter. But I wanted to make some sort of record of the buildings on this place - beyond cypress swamps and vegetable gardens.

Beginning with a vision of the main house on a four by five foot canvass, not stretched or sized, I had to run out of my studio and up the road every so often to check how this house looks. No photographs. It began to tell me what to do. Yes, lay down some basic paint, remember the bones of that cracker architecture. For no particular reason I picked the last of the giant orange cosmos blossoms and dried them flat under heavy books.

It became clear to me that I would include night and day and every season. So there are fireflies and oranges, butterflies and blooming crape myrtle, sunshine and moonlight. And so why not a lovely alligator, (a photo I took), cows on the lawn,(fabric) and a huge barred owl (a photo from Audubon magazine)? Around this time I began adding fabric pieces here and there. I tried glueing on some Spanish moss - not successful. But the cosmos blossoms were dry and still bright and easily glued to the trees. Milkweed fluff worked well, though it stuck to my hands for hours and I felt like a cocker spaniel.

My workspace has bins of 'stuff' I collect (because who knows when it will find a purpose?) and some of this found a home on the canvass.

And I kept on painting. One night I spoke with my grandson in college. He was excited to show me in a text the art work he had just completed and hung in a hallway. We discussed materials, glues, the creative process and celebrated each other. He told me about the possibilities in bubble wrap!  Which is perfect for moonbeams, though tricky to securely glue down.

So, this is a work in progress and maybe the harbinger of a new art form for me. I am thinking of incorporating some words into this painting, perhaps Emily Dickinson..
We have a dead satellite receiver on the front lawn (not pictured in my painting) and I am not chopping it down because when my grandson comes for his holiday visit I am hoping that we two can construct a new and wonderful sculpture. I am saving all the bubble wrap from Amazon and the discarded turkey feathers I find in the woods, and maybe one of my birder friends will pass along some owl pellets.



Thursday, December 08, 2011

What Do Retirees do all day?

I really have a wonderful life! Here is one of the lettuce beds with something new always coming along, and as in my life, there are always a few weeds and something bolted and ready to be discarded.

When we first retired we flopped around as everyone does. We learned that this place in the Green Swamp that we had been going to for years of too short weekends really takes a lot of maintenance. Pastures have to be mowed several times a year, fences need constant attention, gardens have to be tended, the pool deck and the orchids have to be cleaned and watered. The studios and other buildings need attention and maintenance. All that stuff. In the house there is the usual cleaning and upgrading. We constantly throw away, give away and pare down on the things.

We had to figure out what we wanted to do in our community, and we tried many things before we got our groove. (And the groove can change.) And now we have our routine.

Each morning we get up at dawn, throw the dog out of the bed, and start the day. I grab a cup of coffee and drive the mile to the mailbox to retrieve the newspapers. Often I stop along the way to look at birds and what other wild life there is to be seen - deer, turkeys, feral hogs, sometimes otters. Sometimes the herd of cows is in the road, and when I get to the mailbox my neighbor's chickens have just been released and they are all over the place.

I get back, feed the dog, start the laundry and empty the compost and check the traps for armadillos. I am looking at this amazing early morning with the mist rising off the pond and the deer grazing at the edge of the far pasture, and in this season, the colors of autumn in the trees.

We generally do our workouts early in the day, takes an hour, then read the St. Pete Times while sitting on the screen porch. I save the NYT for my "nap" after lunch. Many days I am off to this and that of volunteer activities, Garden Club etc. I spend many hours each day in my studio where I make quilts, pots, and paint. I check the e-mail, attend to business, call friends. Each day I spend a lot of time tending to the gardens.

In the evening around six I go up to the main house for dinner. I will already have picked the daily vegetables and presented them to the cook, but I am always surprised with what's for dinner. We eat by candle light, flowers on the table and good conversation.

I know what most folks do who are working because I did it for forty years! Retirees have to invent a new life and this is pretty interesting.

So, now, off to do a hot tub under the stars. It's a pretty good life..

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Kids slurping it up

I always love that hour and a half I spend each week with those eight kids who come to me for math enrichment. By now I am getting to know them as individuals with their own special approaches to the work we are doing. Victoria is the one who just knows that if a problem doesn't check she has to go back and do the work over because maybe she wrote it down wrong in the first place. Natalie keeps everyone on track because she never hesitates to let me know that there was something she maybe didn't get really fixed in her mind. I am trying so hard to let these kids know that this math, this algebra program is beautiful and fun and you need to focus. You need to collaborate. Timarya is so bright and swift she sees the answer immediately but resists doing the checks. I am on her case and make her go back and check her answers. Usually she works with Aaron and Rubin and the three of them work together like lightning.
I tell them that each of them is unique and have different skills and aptitudes. They know I think they are all brilliant (which they are!) I want them to focus and work hard. Chloe sometimes thinks she 'doesn't get it', but I hold back a minute and then she does. Clayton has been absent for two classes and he will catch up. What he is really interested in is the pig (or calf?) he's raising for the county fair and we discuss this quite a bit.
Abigail, Abigail! Here's this quiet beautiful child who just sets out each class day with me, full interest and determination. She gets to work immediately and is totally on task and ahead of the others by a page or two. Often I ask her to help another student, and when I revisit that part of the table, she's explained whatever was opaque to her tablemates.
I am beginning to know the back stories of these kids. There are three Hispanics, two African Americans, and the others are two kids of teachers in this school and one other. A good mix. What is clear to me is that all these kids are well cared for. Physically, they are very handsome. They are quite trim, lovely white teeth, shiny hair.
If we have any time at the end of class we play a game, usually some kind of charades. They all love this. They want me to come and eat lunch in the cafeteria with them. I did this last week, but today I had to load up the clay pieces from Family Clay Night last Wednesday so I can fire them in my kiln. The kids were eager to help me load everything in my car.
The time I spend there goes by so fast! I wish it could be longer. I am thinking that maybe if I regularly ate lunch with them I could read a good book outloud to them. I fantasize that I could take them on a trip to Washington, D.C. or New York City. What furniture for the mind that would be!
Any ideas you have? Let me know.

I am thinking that I should start reading to them while we eat lunch

Monday, December 05, 2011

The Mayo Clinic Experience

My husband has had a nasty cough for two years, and despite many doctors and tests, nothing improved, so it was decided that something different was needed. He made the appointment at Mayo in Jacksonville. Our posse of our daughter, my husband and I went up there to spend the day trying to get to the bottom of this.
Mayo Clinic is a campus of many large imposing buildings. One enters the place with dread. But, once in the system everything goes fast and smooth. They said they would not waste your time and this was true enough. Hundreds of folks are going through quite quickly. Everyone we dealt with was friendly and efficient, and the main doctor was obviously very smart and able to deal with many aspects of my husband's problems. Never did I feel like he could only see one aspect. His view was wide and inclusive, far from being the blind man and the elephant. He was clear with us and answered our questions. We have to go back for the final tests and consultations, but we came away from this initial visit full of hope and feeling we were in the best hands.
I have little confidence in medicine as it is practiced now. I am always thinking that so many doctors are prescribing tests and medicines that actually feather their own nests. At Mayo the doctors are on salary and do not have their own private practices and centers where they charge huge fees for using their machines.
We will return in a month to finish up. I do not know if there will be a real cure for the cough, but at least for now I can rest a lot easier.
We have Medicare and that covers almost all the expenses. I think of my younger friends who struggle with inadequate or completely lacking insurance. What are we thinking? What is so bad about having every American have access to such as the Mayo Clinic? On Medicare one can do it, but otherwise, get used to the pain and aggravation.