ROGER

My friend, Roger Kaminsky died today.

He was the first vivid person I got to know in my activities as a volunteer in the Lacoochee community. More than seven years ago, a bunch of us got together on a regular basis at the school to think about community/school, and what we could do to resurrect this impoverished community. Roger was always there, always helpful and insightful. Over time, we forged a plan of action, and Roger was instrumental in leading the community through many difficult twists and turns. Now we have a magnificent community center.

Roger was always strong, always efficient. He took his turn at being the chairman when the group became the official Lacoochee- Trilby-Trilacoochee steering committee. His strong start made everything after happen. When the chairmanship passed to the next person, Roger quietly became the secretary and never missed a meeting of taking the minutes on his computer.

Despite the wild hair and worn face, Roger seemed young and fit. He and his wife, Marion ran the Christian Edge center, a coffee house and hub for after school activities. Roger taught many young folks the guitar. There was lots of music there in this place the Kaminskys created. There was art and dance and love and fellowship. He lived his beliefs.

I don't know that Roger was a pastor; occasionally he would offer a brief prayer at meetings. It was clear, though, that his Christian faith was strong. What he did was live the Christian ethic of service and inclusivity.

This was a gentle man who cared deeply about our community. His life has made a tremendous difference for the better. All of us- Dave, our officer Friendly, Tammy, Shara, Jack Futch, Karen, Richard and Kathy, Cassie, David Lambert, Michelles, and so many others have heavy hearts tonight. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Marion.

I am imagining a tribute to Roger that would be a grove of trees and a concrete bench on the grounds of the new community center.

Counting Kids

One of the truly most delicious things about parenthood, grandparenthood, and having so many kids in our lives is that moment each night just before I go to bed when I make the rounds of the bedrooms where they sleep. I navigate the floor legos and the blocks and the clothes and damp towels, the digital devices and the stuffed animals, and sometimes real ones. I approach their beds and tuck in their covers over their feet large and small that spill out. I kiss their heads, what I can see of them, and I feel so blessed to have these children in my life.

Earlier, depending on their ages, I have read them a story, and we have discussed the breakfast menu for tomorrow. The night lights are adjusted to their liking. Older kids stay up long past my bedtime, but even so, they do not know it but I still go up and tuck in covers and kiss their heads. Comes with the territory.

When we just had our own three kids in the house, after my nightly checking and tucking and kissing, I would sigh a contented sigh.. all three are there! Our family is complete!

When guest kids come to visit, it is just the same. I feel peaceful when I have counted the kids and made sure they are comfortable in their beds.

Grandchildren are special. Tonight, our nine year old red headed grandson is here for his spring break. We are all happy to be together and have great plans for the next few days. Without an ongoing read-aloud book, we read Shel Silverstein's poems and had a laugh over them. This boy, of course, can read this himself, but what fun it is to share!  Tomorrow we'll go to the library and select something juicy (and just beyond his level) to read out loud.

Over the weekend we went up north where it is still below freezing and everything is sere and dead and the natives are feeling sorry for themselves. It was the second birthday of our youngest grandchildren, the twins. Who could have believed that these kids, so tiny at birth, would now be chattering away in full sentences in two languages? Also they are very funny kids, not to mention beautiful. Of course, I crept upstairs to see them sleeping to kiss their heads and tuck in a stray foot.

This house is full of kids; the twins have three much older brothers who love and care.  This is a blended family.

All of us, all of us, are the community it takes to raise our children. We are colorful and loving and caring. In the middle of the night we count the kids.

Hijacked!

It saddened me that Alex Sink was defeated today. She was clearly the most intelligent and ethical candidate for the job. No one actually asked for or would pay attention to an intelligent conversation about the Affordable Care Act or the candidates' take on climate change, or the environment here in Florida or same sex marriage, or abortion rights, or our incredibly important issue of immigration. When Sink made a few (true) comments about immigrants in Florida, she was pilloried, and what she said was made into sound bites for the mindless. It's all about money. I have no idea about what Jolly was thinking.

We are in a new climate these days, and you'd better gird your loins for more to come. Let's be honest. Public office can be bought from the next presidency on down. Our own governorship was bought! Big money from the various billionaire individuals (the Koch brothers for one) can very definitely ensure outcomes. It boils down to who has the most money to put up t.v. ads geared for the stupid masses who cannot think of anything past the latest sound bite or tweet. Big money has got us!

I would love to see Paul Sauros or Bill Gates or Warren Buffet put up non partisan ads about telling the truth. We need folks to cry out that the emperor, indeed, has no clothes on!
Alas, the Supreme Court did this nation a HUGE disservice in the Citizens United decision. I hope all nine of them do not sleep well. This was a disaster for our country.

As a resident of Florida, I am aware that the travesty of a governor we now have was elected because of all the money he has (ill gotten gains from an empire of hospitals). I believe that this governor is one of the worst  and most mean-spirited leaders we have had. You will not hear about this.

But you have seen nothing yet! In the next campaign he will use his own money and other money will flow in. It's all about influence. Do not doubt that there will be a zillion t.v. ads extolling his business expertise. You will not hear about the endangered Florida environment, you will not hear about the plight of undocumented Mexicans, you will not hear about climate change as it affects our state, you will not hear about preschool education, and all you'll hear about in education there is a fudging of finance. (Just talk to some teachers!) And you will not hear anything believably heartfelt.

But, I am saddened that so many of you, mostly the youth, don't care! Some of you don't vote! You should care to examine the issues and be picky. If you deeply care about something that is happening in our state. go to Tallahassee and tell them. You roll your eyes knowing that these politicians lie. You are right. You have no trust in public institutions or health care or much of anything else. You are right not to trust - but you have the obligation to examine the truth and then stand up for what you believe is the truth.

If you don't, you'll quickly find yourselves as mere cogs in the wheels of potato chips. You'll be a mere tweet.

So discouraging! What is this world going to be for my grandchildren?? Certainly, it will be useless to vote. Just lie back an let the digital world and let big money dictate your lives. Unless..

I love my brain (mostly)

When I am trying how to think about a problem - what will be effective for the classes I teach or what I can do for this or that student, or all the things I want to do, or how to construct the latest quilt or painting- I walk the trails in our property, and it always happens. I begin to get it and come back full of ideas. I rejoice in having this brain of mine that is always reliable.

Of course, at my age, I often cannot remember names and have to go through the alphabet or just tuck the question away hoping it will come to me. Usually it does.

I have this construct of my brain that has had so many experiences and so many people in it, that at some point it has to divest itself of extraneous stuff. So, this leaves me dumb sometimes at a banquet where I mix with hundreds of folks I should know. "By the way, do you happen to remember your name?" is not something I can ask.  Usually, in a few seconds I do remember someone I have not seen in years. But sometimes, not. I smile a lot, hoping the name will come.

I can easily remember the botanical names of plants, and I can easily remember the names of long ago student's pets! Yikes!

And my brain is still going full tilt with ideas for everything. Mostly, I think about kids and young people.

Today we had some young teachers come for lunch. They brought their four month old baby, such a darling full cheeked girl. These folks are in love with everything about family and they have such concerns about the future. They are right on the edge of maybe striking out to follow their dreams. It's scary and I hope that we old folks can encourage them to go forth.

Yesterday I went to collect Giccella, a ten year old, who had promised to write a one page essay to be included in a grant application for our school/community garden. Getting her here was fraught because I could barely connect with her mom. But, finally, it was to happen and I cut through the practicalities by stating I would pick Giccella up and return her. As with all the kids I know here, she lives in a trailer park that is littered with the detritus of life. But Giccella was there and ready on time.

She was very curious and observant of our place here in the Green Swamp. We briefly took a tour of the yard and house (two storeys!) and the vegetable garden and then she focused on writing her essay. She competently sat down at the computer after we had made a list of the things she wanted to say. In an hour we we were done, and all I had to do was make a few small corrections in matters of tense and grammatical agreement.

After that we went out in the golf cart to look at the property. What a hoot! I love seeing this place in a novice's eyes. She was interested in the cows and the young piney woods. She loved driving the golf cart and she was intrigued but wary of the lunch I served. (She had never seen the kind of bread we had or anything but velvet cheese slices.) But she was always polite and friendly.

I am so interested in how and why some kids thrive. This girl will be in my life for a long time. Already, I am thinking that I will invite her and another kid I know in the community to join us and our grandson or a trip to MOSI during the spring break.

Lots of my brain is always engaged in arranging social happenings. If only I could remember the names!

No Helicopter Parents Here

On Wednesdays, my big day at the local elementary school, I start out with the preschoolers. Today, as usual, their noses are pressed to the window on the school door. They know Ms Molly will be there. I always start out by reading a book to them. They are sitting on a cosy rug and most of them are still sleepy from their naps. "What's in Ms. Molly's bag?" they are thinking. I have a book to begin with, and then always something wonderful and delicious. Sometimes it is a food-watermelon when we read a book about watermelon seeds. Sometimes it is a special toy. Today, I brought a ten count Russian babushka doll. I spoke of grandmas, I am one, and they have their abuelas. What a hit! The kids handled the dolls and extricated them, counted them, and put them together again.

In visiting these kids in the preschool I see a sort (those parents who have signed up their kids for preschool), but there is still another sort.

At the top of the heap there are those parents that we dub "helicopter parents". These parents care so enormously about their kids, and have some confidence that they can make a difference and so they step up to be in the PTA, chaperone on field trips and volunteer in their kids' schools. And, usually, their kids succeed.

At our local elementary school we have a junior garden club that meets every Wednesday for a couple of hours after school. The school garden is fantastic, burgeoning with every kind of vegetable. Some of the kids who are a part of this go to visit the garden on a daily basis and they know every broccoli and sunflower and tomato. They feel comfortable weeding and keeping the caterpillars at bay with the BT. They keep an eye on the irrigation system and they go home with bags of collards and carrots and broccoli and whatever is producing at the moment. They are learning to cook the harvest and they are now comfortable with basic cooking skills.

The Dade City Garden Club has generously donated the funds for a number of these kids to go to camp for a week this upcoming summer.  But what uphill work this is!

The parents of these wonderful kids are not the helicopter parents I once was used to. They never see or respond to letters home. They never express thanks or interest. They seem to be unreachable by phone or email. Their kids would LOVE to attend this fantastic camp, but their parents are so unresponsive. So we strive to have these parents come in to sign their kids up for a camp session. We call endlessly and sometimes when we can get through, the parents promise to be there when we can help them with the online registration. But they rarely show up when promised. (For heavens sake we are extending  a free camping experience for their kids!)

I have learned a lot through this experience of running a school/community garden! These kids lag far behind what I would expect. Their math skills are abysmal and their general knowledge is skimpy. I am trying to figure this out. I know that these parents are hardworking folks. But I think that they were somehow shortchanged in their education and their expectations for themselves and their kids.

Almost the entire school population is on free lunch. The Mexican parents, mostly undocumented, would probably be helicopter parents if they didn't live in the shadow of fear. Of course their kids could not attend even a free camp because certain documents are required.

I wish that this small and wonderful elementary school could break through the fears of the undocumented and the unresponsiveness of the others so that these amazing kids could be thinking that their future might be more than being servers in a fast food place. I wish that this school could have some inspirational people talking to parents and teachers about how to be good parents.

Self Improvement

It was a New Year's resolution that I would sign up for a Tai Chi class. It took a couple of months to actually do this, but this afternoon there I was in my loose black pants and official Tai Chi shirt, ready to go with Ms. Linda. Before the class began with all the others she gave me a personal tutorial. So there I was in the large room desperately trying to follow the moves which seemed to be about rescuing tigers and helping birds to fly. I am o.k. with squats and kicks but all the hand movements were difficult even with intense focus. Mostly I think I looked like I was fending off flies.

After my personal class the others came in - six men and women of different ages and sizes. I was the only newby but I was welcomed. I was trying so hard and focusing so hard I did not have anything left over to observe the others. It was lovely! And then the more advanced students did some great clacking things with fans and wooden machetes. "I want to do that!" I thought. I am eying the various sashes one can get with certain expertise. GRANDMA MOLLY- PURPLE BELT IN TAI CHI! After that we did some more Tai Chi stuff along with Asian music. I really got into it. I have put down my money for three months worth of classes. I think I'll definitely do it.

Mornings, I get up with the sun, let the dog out, grab a shower and drive up the road a mile or so to pick up the newspapers. Along the way I generally stop to look at birds and the condition of the swamp. Sometimes I take photos of anything interesting I see. When I get back I feed the dog and do my daily chores of emptying the compost and trash and kitchen cleanup. I give the newspaper some time and then I am off for the morning self improvement.

First off is Lumosity, a mere fifteen minutes. Can I beat yesterday's score? These games are such fun, though I do not know if they are actually training my brain and staving off dementia.

Next up is my study of Spanish. I am now almost at the end of Pimsleur Spanish 4. In addition I am dong an online written Spanish program. I look forward to doing this and I love this challenge. I wish I had more opportunities to speak more than the rudimentary Spanish with parents I know.

Next up on the self-improvement docket is making my ten thousand steps around the property and doing strength training helped by a video.

But best of all, not self improvement, are the hours I spend creating quilts or paintings. Sometimes I work well into the night. To rest my eyes I go out and look at the stars, so bright here without any light pollution.

And most important for self-improvement, and maybe the hardest, are the hours and hours and energy I spend doing volunteer work in this community. Sometimes, on a day when I know I must go to the school and have something fascinating to read and do with those four year olds, and then do the community garden with the oldest kids  I think I would rather be playing golf (if I played it).  I must shepherd kids and their families through the network of getting them into summer camp. This is such uphill work! Getting health checks, getting them to go online to register, just getting to them by phone is never easy. I must visit the library to get books to read to the preschoolers and plan the various activities for both groups, schlep all the things  needed for the various projects into a school that is pretty much high security so I have to make multiple trips...

I hope I never quit on this !

I guess it is all in the continuum of the self-improvement.