Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Fire flies!

Making the best of the flip side of paradise here in the Green Swamp in a power outage I have turned on the generator and rigged up the computer to the internet to bypass the router. Seems to work. The power company is working on the problems, they say.
I look out at the edge of the pasture and see billions of fireflies magically blinking beneath the occasional streaks of lightning across the sky. It is raining gently now, after the fierce winds of heavy squalls that rearranged all the porch furniture. Again there is the heavy thunder of more storms coming from the north.
I am happy to think that Quincy will be here in a couple of days and we will go out just before bedtime and drink in the amazing sight of all those fireflies that he has remembered from last year when he was five. Yesterday, in town, when I picked him up from play camp he spoke of wanting to come to the ranch, and did I think that there would be fireflies? Of course, of course. Grandma can do anything!
The world is a heavy place right now. Three wars! Africa exploding! The Middle East! Chaos and mayhem everywhere!
Just for a little bit of time go outside in the evening and hold hands with a small person and look at the fireflies, those benign creatures who must have been put on Earth to give us a little hope when it is most needed.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Digital World

I was away from my computer for a couple of days and when I returned, there was, among numerous emails, one from a young "friend", obviously on the Face Book game of Truth (or whatever it's called): Is Molly retarded? I do not go to Face Book very often, but I was intrigued and I followed the link and the thread. I am old and beloved by hundreds, maybe thousands of kids I have known. Of course they know I am not 'retarded', but they want to play this on line game with me. And The Queen is NOT amused.
I looked at the loop of questions asked in this game. They are not extremely hurtful, but I think that if a vulnerable young teen was judged by them it could be devastating! (Does X eat boogers? Is Y hot? etc.) They are being judged by their peers.
What are we thinking to let our children do this? So close to bullying, so far from kindness and generosity and responsible behavior.
Read the front page story in the New York Times about sexting. This is just a small step away from the Face Book truth game. The kids mean to be anonymous but they do not know that everything on line comes back to bite them forever.
Of course, I wrote on Face Book my thoughts about this disgusting and hateful 'game'. Got many comments, many of them clueless and wanting to tell me that they do not think I am retarded! They don't get the point. Others got it.
What a strange world I have found myself in!
Meanwhile, I am tracking a red shouldered hawk nest out back of my studio. The parents come and go, screaming at each other. Below that there are containers of tender lettuces and some flowers that in a few day will be a wild riot of color. The oaks overhead are mostly shed of their evil catkins that cause us to sneeze.
The antidote to the digital world is this place where tender greens of leaves and vegetables grow immensely by the day. I see that the fireflies are starting to light up the palmettos.
And also there are the several kids at the Boys and Girls Club who begged me to come in tomorrow to teach an extra algebra class. Who could have predicted they would have this hunger to learn some math? Even the ones who are so behind on math skills always appear. I give them problems they can solve with calculators, and I think they are getting something. The advanced ones come early,hunker down and check their answers with each other. I rejoice in this. It is supposed to be like this! These huge kids, who initially terrified me, come and come back again because they have found an interesting thing to do (and a crazy old lady who is willing to teach them)
The algebra kids know what to do! The others, who are still hanging in there, know that I will help them from wherever they are. This is so different from the Face Book truth game. These kids, from ages 10 to 14, come from different schools, they are different colors and ethnicities. They know that I will never ask anything embarrassing. They know I will always be there as promised.
And who am I? This is what I really love : these kids do not thank me, and they are not especially polite. But I see by the light in their eyes and their eagerness to come to do math that I am effective in their lives, and maybe can make a difference. For this I am not rewarded with certificates and plaques. And this is the best!
Hard to think about the disconnect between real life and the digital world of teenagers.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Chasm, Again

No photographs today. My camera went through the wash, but is slowly recovering function. Kind of like me trying to think through the American stance in Libya. Maybe it will all dry out in a couple of days.
Bottom line for me as I think about American planes bombing Libya- it is wrong to kill people and wreak destruction. I know that there is much to be said about humanitarian aid for the rebels, and we are doing this. I cannot help thinking that the U.S. did not help other African countries in dire straits (who did not have oil!)
We want to support the people who rise up against their tyrants and we want to support their push for democracy. But we Americans can do this by providing only humanitarian aid - NO VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION AND KILLING PEOPLE! The Libyans must construct their own version of democracy or whatever. We should have learned this lesson in Iraq and Afghanistan.
We are today talking about the goal, the end game. Seems to me that we can take the high road and the American way and let the Libyans make their way on their own. We did it in the Revolution and there were so many bumps in the road, and still are. Do we think any less about these nascent democracies? They don't need the U.N. or America bombing them! They need to work it out on their own with dignity and the caring community of nations. The rest of the world can encourage by sending in humanitarian supplies. No bombs and guns.
End of screed.
Today I went to watch twenty-four children aged eight through eleven put on the Shakespearean play "As You Like It". These kids are the treasured ones. They are healthy and beautiful, beloved by parents who care for them. These kids have learned Shakespearean English (really another language), and done everything to produce a wonderful drama. They have painted the sets, worked on costumes, and of course, learned by heart all those many lines of script. These kids know that their parents are one hundred percent behind this endeavor. Their parents sawed the "trees" for the set and helped their kids paint them. The parents climbed up into the rafters of the auditorium and managed the stage lighting. The parents coached the kids with the live music, and the parents spent hours with kids working on costumes.
And the finished production was wonderful! After the last curtain call the kids came down to see me and I told them how marvelous they were and they basked in my praise.
It is so dispiriting in my volunteer work in a public school to get anything interesting going. I wanted to have a regular "clay day" at school for parents and kids. A small beginning. I bought a hundred pounds of clay and the tools and set up a time for the first day. We had many families on board. I hammered at the school to reply to e mails. In the end, it couldn't happen for various reasons.
These kids could absolutely do Shakespeare! They could make lovely clay artifacts! But, they are hunkered down to FCAT and I fear that they and their teachers are doomed to mediocrity.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Libya and my family

So, there we are, America again, saving the world, bombing the crap out of..what? Of course we cannot stand by and see this crazy man Gudaffi wrecking his own people and country.
This difficult situation makes me think of issues closer to home, my family. One of our satellite small families is having very difficult times with one of their kids. The rest of us feel obligated and invested to help. So we circle and give advice because we love them so much!
But, as with Libya, we don't know the inner workings of their lives. We can give humanitarian aid, send in forces, and advise. But really, we know that they will be able to deal with these problems because they are there on the ground. If we, the surrounding family were not there, this small and precious family unit would be able to deal with it. I must believe this.
In Libya, we are invested in seeing the spread of democracy as we have seen in so many other near eastern countries since the new year. But these countries are not all alike. I believe that we must hold back for so many reasons. It's so easy, but maybe not wise to be the most competent!
We went to Cedar Key this last weekend and loved exploring by foot and boat the wonderful natural world of spring in central Florida. We are recovering from the amazing cornucopia of fried seafood, glad to be back to our garden full of tender lettuces.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Everything getting easier

The pastures are green and there are many new calves cavorting around. The oak trees are dripping pollen and catkins and many wild flowers have sprung up. The hummingbirds have returned and today I saw the first of the swallow tailed kites circling overhead. Owl sex is rampant and we hear their loud chuckling and hooting every night. The vegetable garden is beautiful and about to pop up with a huge harvest. The asparagus is up.
We might have a light frost tonight so I have covered the tender vegetables with sheets.
I have now completed week five with the Boys and Girls Club math group. It is getting easier! This week, the math class was the last thing I thought I'd have energy to do. I'd put in a full amount of time in St. Pete, and then a long commute to speak with the community gardeners at Lacoocee school, then a couple of hours in the second grade classroom painting tee shirts, inspecting the science fair experiment (that lives outside), and reading a couple of chapters of "Danny, the Champion of the World".
Then, on to the math class, down the road past the side of life where folks are just hanging on. I get out the stuff from the car trunk, carry it in and begin setting up the white board and laying out the materials for each child.
Somehow, this place doesn't smell so bad as it used to. In fact there are several places (if I squint my eyes) that look positively cheerful.
Promptly at four p.m. ten kids appear. They are ready to get started. One boy, Javier presents me with a $1.00 word! Acceptors. All the kids have been working to come up with a $1.00 word. They cheated and copied and brought in words that were not exactly worth 100 points. So, now, Javier has found one. And I cheerfully present him with a crisp dollar.
Taja(Tajay), a very black and handsome boy asks me, "Ms. Molly, why are you here doing this?" A good question. I later think that he is trying to test me, but for now I give him my best answer. "I love kids and I love math and I think that volunteering is giving back from a life that has given much to me."
He responds, "But why should I be here? I am so tired from all the school work I did today." I say to him that he does not have to be here, and neither do I. He can choose not to be here if he wants. And of course, there is this chorus of voices from the other kids :"You know the rules! If you leave, you can't come back!" So, Taja squirms a bit but stays and settles down.
Javier and David are working on their pages. I spend a few minutes with them to introduce a new concept and they immediately 'get' it and move on. The others are struggling at times so I hunker down with them to explain. They are so needy! By now, everyone is able to see that they need to focus and stop doing uproars that tear all concentration. The low hum of meaningful activity is becoming the norm. We are all comfortable. The three wobbly tables in the pool room are populated with kids on the same level more or less.
Except for Saleem. This wonderfully handsome and winsome boy is twelve and still in the fourth grade. I gave him a calculator, thinking it might help. He was a child left behind, evidently. But on my watch, he, by gum, won't be left behind anymore! He's not up to this Hands On! algebra yet, but he comes each week and we are working on the addition and subtraction math facts. When the class was over Saleem went out smiling, tucking the new calculator in his pocket.
I was in St.Pete this week and spent time at my old school. The kids were coming to the end of rehearsals for the Shakespearean play they are presenting next week. These wonderful and privileged children, many with helicopter parents who support everything, are a delight to me!
But this huge socioeconomic chasm saddens me. My Lacoochee guys will have few chances at the brass ring.
But, now as a volunteer, just maybe I can help a few of these kids see their potential.

Pray for the Japanese who have been dealt such a blow, affirm the peoples in the Middle East and north Africa who struggle for democracy, and do not be passive in our own country and let the mean spirited and fearful prevail.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Technology

Spring has sprung and everything is is in full bloom and spewing off the pollen. We love it, but we are sneezing and snarking.
The topic of technology always surfaces in some way when we get together with our friends. How do you like your new i-pad? What do you think about reading books on Kindle? How's your satellite working?
Every year I try to master something new: write a book, learn a new language, catalog the wild flowers on our place, and technology is an ongoing engagement.
In our frugality we do not have a data plan for our cell phones, and so we do not text. Actually, I cannot imagine why I would want to text anyone. If it's important I can call. I do not want to touch in to anyone in great frequency to tell them I am in the grocery store or the gas station or the toilet. Because I am so old it would never occur to me to do this. I grew up in the age of pay phones that one could use if you had to. Now, there are none of these and you are connected to your mother and your friends at every moment calling or texting on the cell phones.
We have everything one could use technologically: three computers, an i-pod, two smart phones. Overkill.
Seems we were freer in those old days, not so tethered to the digital things, letting some time pass while we figured out what to do.
And yet, I am absolutely exhilarated to think that this new digital global internet age has made possible the revolutions in the middle east! It makes me suck in my breath in joy, revel in the way of young people who can now communicate around the world.
So many of us love our Face-book and U-tube and could not imagine life without the ability to e mail and twitter.
But for us baby boomers and older, we came up in an age when we did not have to be connected every minute. We can actually go to the grocery store and buy what we need without checking with some "others" about this.
This digital world is like having gnats or flies always circling overhead and checking in every few seconds.
By the next generation, they will all be comfortable and no one will ever have a moment alone and they won't care because they won't have known about the wonderful freedom of being free!

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Why I do this

I love these Thursdays when I do my volunteering in the Lacoochee community. Here are Ta-jay and Ney-ney in the pool hall of the Boys and Girls Club. Ta-jay has just told me that he is African, but when I ask him if he knows from where in Africa, he draws a blank.
I love these kids! Ta-jay comes to my algebra math class faithfully every Thursday. He struggles with basic math facts, as do so many of the ten kids who come. After five classes, there are two boys who have perfect attendance and have zoomed ahead. Today, I spoke to all the kids about their achievement and what it could possibly mean to their lives. Of course, just being there means a lot. Many of them do not get this yet.
These kids do not have to be there. There are no tests, no homework, all I require is that they be there and try to focus. Today, a new kid appeared and I tried to tell him that we were full and couldn't take in a new person who would have to start from the beginning. But he persevered and kept popping up behind the most advanced kids. Next week, I'll probably relent and let him join the group.
So, why is this optional and pretty advanced math class taught by an old lady such a compelling thing to do for middle school mostly male loutish kids? I don't know. Maybe these kids are really interested in math, maybe interested in a creative sort of math that is NOT FCAT! Maybe they are interested in having a teacher who hunkers down one on one to really explain. Maybe they are engaged with a teacher who understands their problems and can address them. Maybe they see the need to have something interesting happening. So, they come! And I am there, predictably every Thursday afternoon.


And here are those lovely second graders, today eating the strawberries I brought from a local farm. Bernice, Kimberly and Elissa have taken a break from flying paper airplanes they have made and flown around the playground. All the seventeen kids have been joyfully running around outdoors, full of the wonder of the young.

I love this place where I am so affirmed by the kids who have known me for the last four years. They know how much I love them. There will be a few who go on to climb mountains and I hope I will be the person who gave them a boost.

Our hummingbirds returned today, right on schedule. What a good omen!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Always reading

When I got into town this week, right away Quincy, who's just six, wanted to read to me! He read me a page from his homework, very smooth and fluent. To me, this is such an amazing accomplishment. We were so appreciative of all the developmental milestones - toilet training, being dry at night, getting dressed, stopping the thumb sucking, riding a two wheeler, swimming.. But reading is the BEST! To me and to all our family, we know that to be able to read is the ticket to everything else.
Last evening I hosted our book club at our new apartment across the yard from Quincy's house. Quincy appeared in person, fresh from his bath, to have a preview of the apple pie I was serving as dessert to the book club.
We had dinner, the ten of us from 40 to 90 years old. Our book this month was "Huckleberry Finn", that none of us had read since seventh grade or so. It was my choice because of the press lately about the word "nigger", and also because this was a book I should have read when it was assigned, but faked it because I couldn't stand the dialect and the linear boys plot line. I much preferred such things as "Ben Hur" with the emotional content. My brothers loved Huck. So I thought it was time for us in the book club to revisit this American icon.
We really discussed this book. And everyone pretty much agreed that this book has little to do with what engages kids now.(Though it should!) They don't know about the history of slavery and the Civil War, and don't care anyway. But mostly, kids do NOT READ. Some of us in the book club have been instrumental in bringing Shakespeare into the lives of children. Is Shakespeare any more compelling than Mark Twain?
We think YES! So many of our students believe that the unit they did when they produced and acted in a pretty much full bore Shakespearean play was the best thing about school. The themes are universal and accessible, much easier than Huck Finn.
One of the book club women who teaches in a local high school, said that the kids never read anything and she is hoarse at the end of a day because she reads everything out loud. She also says that the other teachers never read to their students, nor, as far as she knows, ever read for themselves. This matches what I have learned as a volunteer in my local public school.
We talked about what the digital world means in terms of reading, and we are old in this realm. What do you think?

It's all about reading!