Friends

In retirement we need friends as we always have. I wonder about the people I know who pull up stakes in the places they have lived in forever and move to another place, perhaps a retirement community, or a place in the sunbelt. They seem to be forsaking their networks of old friends of all kinds and move on to a new world of convenience friends they make in a new place.
When one gets older and joins the ranks of the seniors and the retired, it seems to me that you need friends more than ever! You lose the friends of convenience, the people in your workplace you used to see everyday. Inevitably, some of the people you worked with for years drop off your list of friends. They never call or write, nor do you. If you met them in the supermarket you'd be very glad to catch up and if they ever needed to make more substantial contact you'd be more than willing to pick up.
Then there are the old old friends, the ones you have known and loved for most of your life. These friends may not make contact for prolonged periods, but you know they are there. There are Susie and Vicky and Ann, so many others. I think of my friend, Marie, with whom I have shared a work life and many adventures to third world countries. We have laughed and cried about our families and we have built a school together. I will always love this woman!
I think also of my friends, the two Nancys. One Nancy has been my friend for as long as I have been in this area. She's not a workplace friend, but just someone who stubbornly maintains the network of friendships. She's an artist, a gifted potter and a wonderful dependable friend.
The other Nancy, more chancy, the most fun and ascerbic, knows where I am coming from. She aslo owns daschunds and we have dog sat each other's critters for years.
There is the woman I met when we were four years old, Juliet. We have always been best friends, but our geographic ways parted in high school when I went to Lebanon wth my family. Both of us went to college in the northeast, she to Smith, I to Brown. But we always stayed in touch and never a year went by when we did not visit each other. When I went to Maine to see her last week, we could amazingly just take off from where we had been the last time. Working in her kitchen, I just knew where everything would be. The meal was what I would have had at home. We were easy.
Even in retirement/senior years there is the excitement of making new friends. I think of Virginia, one of the smartest people I have ever known. For years she was kind of on the periphery of my life. When we moved up here to live more or less full time on our ranch and I realized that Virginia not only lived very nearby but also was engaged in teaching as was I, our connection was sealed. I worked as a volunteer in her classroom last year and we began to bond. It is exciting to get to know a person! The unfolding of a personal history is so interesting. This summer we had Virginia and her husband, Norman, over for dinner. It happened to be my birthday, which I mentioned at the end on the meal. (No big deal.) A couple of weeks later when we went to their home for dinner, it was Virginia's birthday. (No big deal.) So we keep discovering things about each other.
I am so happy to be making new friends who are younger. At the rural school where I volunteeer to teach one day a week, I am making friends with several of the staff. There is CareyAnne, a stellar by-the-books teacher of a primary class. She's warm-hearted, smart, loves those kids, and artistic. She's only a bit older than my oldest child, a single mom of two. I think she'll be a good friend, certainly interesting.
Maybe the best friends of all are family. You welcome new members as they marry in; some take time to be friends. Natalie, the quintessential mother of two grandkids was not soneone I thought would have children. Over the years we have become good friends and I think she knows I think she's amazing. Gina, another daughter-in-law, fairly new on the scene, feels to me to be a really solid friend, a person I can count on. I am hoping that my son's new wife will be a real true friend.
I am blessed to have wonderful siblings. They are truly some of my best friends. Several years ago, because I have such an incredibly artistic and supportive sister, I truly wanted to have another sister. My great friend, Maria, an only child, agreed to be my adoptive sister! So now I have two sisters, much better than one. And I get a wonderful brother-in-law in addition.
On this day, our anniversary, I count the many friends I have and rejoice in their abundance. I hope that I can be as supportive to them as they have been to us.