What If?

What if we hadn't had any grandchildren? We were not the sort who ever counted grandkids or even thought about it especially. But, then, our children began having their own families and we were really delighted. Of course, there is something pretty affirmative about having one fourth of your DNA passing on to the next generation, but that's not really it. Our kids could have adopted several Haitian children apiece, and they would still be ours and part of our tribe.

With the birth of our latest grand children, twins, we now have eight! Who could have thunk?

What really matters in the relationship of grandparents and grandchildren is the connection. It boils down to quantity time. Most of our grandchildren live far away but we pay serious attention to our visits with each other. Summers we have grandkids visit, they come for vacations and hang out in my studio. The little ones come with their parents. And, also, we go to visit them where they live. The older ones come and hang out during vacations and our whole fun place is completely given over to them.

Now, on day eleven of his visit, our Florida grandson, Quincy, is still a peach! He's seven now. We have had his visits since he was weaned. We survived toddlerhood, toilet training, bad backs (ours!), teaching him to ride a bike, swim, drive the golf cart, and all the rest.

And now, here we have a long term small visitor who comes here so often he has his own room and a playroom with an incredible amount of stuff (Legos, trains, cars and any art material he can think of). This little guy knows our property better than his mom ever did and now that his tether is long, he can go anywhere he wants. He has his chores (emptying the compost, clearing the table) and he is part of the family. We have lovely long dinners, often with friends, and Quincy fits in, eats everything available and compliments the chef every time. We talk about everything!

When this child first began to visit it was hard for us because we had to be on duty every single second. Even at night we were tethered to the intercom. But now, here is this easy focused kid who has an incredible agenda.

And on this visit to us he was here when his two west coast cousins came for part of the time. He was the spark of activities and the three kids had a lot of fun together outdoors. An only child, he was sometimes worried by the sibling rivalry of his cousins he loves.

After the cousins left he has made a forest of paper constructions and origami, written a journal about pets, read innumerable books, constructed an amazing train set-up, practiced long addition and subtraction.. I am so amazed! He's been fascinated with the long chapter book we have read for the entire time he's been here. We finished it today.

Quincy knows that his grandparents really have his back. It helps that he has charm and already the best rudiments of manners. Goes a long way for a seven year old to always say please and thank you - and be presentable enough to take absolutely anywhere.

Tomorrow, his mom will come and take him home. It will feel empty here.